In Response.

Here at the Golden Horn, we strive to bring our customers what they want. Fast, heart attack inducing and sperm killing greasy foods. What kind of kebab house would we be otherwise? That is why it is unfortunate that of late, due to certain persons I cannot name for legal reasons, we have received an influx of negative attention. We received the following notecard from our landlord (expletives have been deleted because at least we have morals) -

To whom it may concern,

Thanks Sal for getting us the opportunity to speak to these ***holes, trying to get a hold of them has been impossible.

I'd like it to be known that not only did one of the Golden Horns food products decrease my popularity in certain social circles but I just found it to be not only pointless but insulting.

I'd also like to know who it was that orchestrated the stupid hotdog selling shindig at Armidi? We go there to buy hair and clothes not be hassled by a noob trying to give away F***ING HOTDOGS!??

Thanks for nothing, ****** Teardrop

All we, the management, have to say to this ridiculous account of our conduct is that if you don't want your social status decreasing, then maybe next time don't purchase the Curry Kebab if you can't stomach it. What's wrong? Accident in your pants? Don't worry darling the laundromat is next door.