Menu - Prices Are Non-Negotiable. Pay, Eat, Fuck Off.



If you're looking at this menu either you've just spent the night down the local and you've got a slag on your arm or you have some kind of illness/affliction. Whatever your situation, we're here to cater to your ever decreasing standards!


What to expect? Wholesome, healthy and fresh food as well as a ton of false advertising.

What we expect? If you are a member of the local law enforcement please make it known upon ordering. As we have already stated in an earlier interview with DCI Robinson, Shilo Gunesh has never, isn't and will never work at our establishment.



MENU

CHEESEBURGER - Cue grease injection! Cheese is optional, price is not.



CHICKEN BURGER - It looks like chicken, it tastes like chicken...it ain't chicken! Mayonnaise is currently out of stock so we've all made personal substitutions.



TRIPLE BURGER - Not just double trouble...


DONER KEBAB - You should probably call an ambulance now!




KOFTE KEBAB - You'll be sweating grease for a week.




SHISH KEBAB - Skewered Alsatian anyone?

CURRY KEBAB - I hope you bought a weeks supply of loo roll...




FISN N' CHIPS - Fresh fish caught today floating in a pond with a used rubber.


If you wish to pay in another currency e.g. teeth, it can be arranged by speaking with Mohammed Koc or Shilo Gunesh.

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